oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Sorry my hands just texted you
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
