bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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