and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
