i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
