its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
