Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
