ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
