I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
