all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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