why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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