I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
