I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize