we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
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