I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Everclear isn't food dammit
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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