I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
