yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
