just come out here and I will go home with you...
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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