I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
