So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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