he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
