People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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