Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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