real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
