Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
