This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize