If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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