o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
