Whod you bang
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
