This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
