Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
