You're my little dorito
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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