one two three fourrrrnication!
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
