physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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