so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I need to calm my uterus...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
