Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
