What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
