Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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