He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
