Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
