I am midnight drunk by noon
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
