We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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