Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
