You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
