Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
