My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
