Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
