Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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