It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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