Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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