Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
