He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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