its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
