so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
