so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
