I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
