It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
