So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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