so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
