69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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